Welcome
Ready to take the next step…
I have spent the last week just trying to eat more like a normal person. I wasn’t tracking calories or journaling at all. I didn’t want to push myself. I’m still not out of the woods with the depression I’ve been dealing with, and I didn’t want to backslide into another nasty food frenzy…
For the most part, the past week has been a good one. I feel more in control, and finally ready to begin tracking again. I’m starting out with a target calorie range of 2500 - 2700 per day. That’s a bit higher than I want it to be, but it’s part of the process for me right now. I need to be mentally ready, and this whole “ steps” attitude seems to be working so far. For the next week, I’ll see how I do with the range I’ve decided on. If I’m feeling comfortable enough, I’ll cut 100 calories off next week. My goal is to get down to about 2000 and see how that works for me.
I also plan to start exercising in some fashion. What I have planned is not major, but if I do it once a day, it will help me rebuild my strength. With problems I’ve had with vertigo and the sheer, chronic exhaustion combined with the fact that I’m now home every day… well, I’m in rotten shape. I’ve been afraid, especially, of stairs, because my legs feel sort of weak (this is probably mostly a mental issue, from falling in October and being dizzy). So, I’ve decided that once a day I will take the elevator down two floors and walk the stairs back up (or just get off two floors early when I’m coming home). I’m also planning to take the dog for slightly longer walks when the weather is nice enough (right now it’s a bit icy out there, and I’ve already established a fear of falling!). He’s in terrible shape, too - and I want him to be healthy and have a long life. Besides, he loves his walks (when it’s not raining, at least).
My goal is to add more stairs when I feel I am ready for it. As pathetic as it sounds, those two flights will be tough for me right now. All the more reason to do it, though.
Today I go to the ENT to get the referral to the sleep clinic to do the sleep apnea study. I’m glad, because though it scares me, I’ve had a week of really, really bad sleeps. Last night and Saturday night were especially terrible. Part of the problem is that we need a new mattress desperately, but we’ve wanted to wait until we move - so we don’t have to pay to move our bed. In the meantime, the springs create pressure points on my hips and I often have serious pain. I’m sure it’s partly related to my weight, too… but the bed doesn’t help matters!
I have another job interview lined up for Thursday. This one is for a woman who is having her second child soon. Her older son is almost four and hearing impaired, and they already know their new will be, too. So, she needs someone who is a fluent English speaker with little or no accent. It helps that I have a college education, because she’s looking for someone who is willing to learn what her son is doing in speech therapy, so it can carry over into his home life. It sounds like an interesting position, but I’d have to really like her, because it also seems she’d be home most of the time - she’s just looking for an extra pair of hands, and someone to either take her older son to school and therapy or to stay with the while she does those things.
This job would be much closer, which is nice, and less hours, which is also nice. Sounds like probably 30, but she can promise at least 20 per week. I don’t know what she’s looking to pay, but if she wants an American who speaks English and went to college, I’m guessing she is willing to pay more than $7/hr (I actually found a couple of jobs in this area paying that - when I sit, I usually charge between $13 - $15/hr, depending on the situation - agencies charge $15 - $18/hr).
Life is getting back to normal, or at least back to my new, post-student era normal. I really miss school so much more than I thought I would. Maybe that will change when I start working, but I doubt it. I don’t think I really appreciated just how much I love learning new stuff until I wasn’t anymore… now, whenever we watch a special that features anyone from my field (which is often), I feel a tug. I want to know more. I want more education… but I also feel the need to work, to help out financially for a change, and I haven’t budged on the issue of wanting in a year or two, and wanting to stay home with them, at least until they’re in school… so maybe then I’ll go back. Imagine how hungry I’ll be for knowledge by then?