What is your Perfect Major?

Recommendations…

I have created a new category for my posts called “Reviews”. See, I like stuff. Food stuff and non-food stuff… my husband says I’m a ad agency/marketer’s wet dream (we won’t mention that he’s in marketing) because I am so taken with new products. However, it’s not ALL new products. I’m very picky, and I often check things out in the store five times before buying. Why, I don’t know. It’s not like it’s any different the four times after time one. It just makes me feel less like an impulse shopper, I guess.

I love CVS because they give me ExtraCare Bucks four times a year. I am in there often enough anyway, for the basic needs, like OTC drugs, toilet paper, paper towels, tissue… you get the idea. I generally resist buying myself stuff, even despite the budget, because I don’t really *need* stuff. I rarely wear makeup these days, but I love it… so I always look at the displays for the hottest and latest products and dream of the promises they so rarely deliver on… enter my secret obsession.

Mascara. That’s right, mascara. You see, I have the tiniest, thinnest, most annoyingly stubby and sparse eyelashes imaginable. They might as well be invisible, since I also wear glasses (plastic, sexy-geeky, square, tortie frames)… to add insult to injury, my little brother was born with the most flawless, amazing, jet black, brilliantly curled, lush, thick lashes… why do boys always get those sort of lashes? I’ve never met a girl with lashes as wonderful as his (not without help from mascara, anyway). I first became aware of his lashes when I was about 10 and first realizing that eyelashes are important for a woman. It was also around then that I realized mine suck ass. I have very pretty brown eyes, sometimes they even seem flecked with gold (sorry, too many romance novels read over here)… but the damn eyelashes that frame those eyes don’t do a very good job of highlighting them!

So, yes, I am obsessed with mascara. It is a wonderful thing… except it’s never as wonderful as it promises it will be. I recently purchased L’Oreal’s newest mascara that promises like 10X the volume… and it delivers, except it made my eyelashes look like freaky spider legs in the process. It was horrifying (so much so I’ve forgotten the name of the damn stuff). It was an expensive lesson, but purchased during a buy-one-get-one-free sale, so it wasn’t completely wasted.

Anyway, I’m usually able to resist most new mascaras… I tend to stick to Maybelline’s line of mascara, because they’ve proven themselves the best repeatedly. I don’t think I’ve had one of theirs I didn’t at least like a little, if not outright love. Great Lash is the best-selling mascara for a reason. Sky High Curves is a wonderful one, too. Turbo Boost Volume Express isn’t bad, either… but the problem, you see, is further complicated by the freakish difference between the top lashes on my left eye and the top lashes on my right eye. The right eye’s lashes behave with mascara. They fluff up and out fairly nicely, provided it’s a good mascara. The left eye is trickier. Those lashes tend to clump together, tend to separate. It’s frustrating.

Enter my first ever Pretty Face Product Review… Cover Girl’s brand new Lash Exact mascara. It is absolutely amazing. It has this microfiber brush that helps fight clumping and that sticking together problem I just mentioned. I should point out that I have never once liked a Cover Girl mascara, and so almost didn’t try this one… but the idea of no clumping was too tempting to resist, especially when I realized my beloved drugstore (yes, CVS) had it on sale for a buck off. Wahoo… it does all of the things I need. It thickens, it lengthens and it even curls just a bit. It also really darkens, even more than my Blackest Black Great Lash does.

It is truly a wonderful product. I am so in love with my lashes when I’m wearing this mascara… oh, because the best thing is, it looks almost totally natural. It might even pass for natural if I didn’t know I have virtually no eyelashes. It’s so not clumpish or heavy… I love this stuff. If you have eyelash issues, you should give it a whirl. I know not everyone will like it, because we all have different eyelash needs (and undoubtedly some of you think maybe the men in the white coats should come get me now)… but I think it’s marvelous! I give it 5 bats of my lovely lashes. ;)

Now, to continue with recommendations, but this one is not product related. This one is blog-related. For those of you who haven’t already, I absolutely encourage you to read Dietgirl’s five-year anniversary series. It’s done in (appropriately enough) five parts, and it’s absolutely amazing. She’s amazing! I was moved and inspired and all that sappy, wonderful stuff. I mean, not only is she funny, but she’s a great, honest writer who doesn’t shy away from the hard stuff, either. Really, go read for yourselves… it starts right here.

That about does it for recommendations/reviews. I’m sure I’ll have more to share soon.

In the meantime, I’ve realized, rather suddenly, that no matter how awful/embarrassing/difficult the sleep study is for me, I must go through with it. I realized that my life can’t go on this way, and that it’s worth all the angst if it means I feel human again. I can’t describe the sort of misery I’ve been feeling where sleeping is concerned. All I can say is, I’ve spent more than my fair share of nights wanting to just cry when I realized it was bedtime (and several actually crying) because that’s how awful sleeping has become for me… and I’ve spent too long being so tired it hurts, being exhausted to the point that I really don’t have a choice, because my body demands sleep and I must nap.

The ENT brought up the oh-so-popular suggestion of WLS on Monday. I told him that I was well aware of the option, but didn’t want to consider it until it was a last resort. I also, I believe for the first time, acknowledged to a doctor that I am aware I’m running out of time to do it my way, but as I told him, I’m not even considering surgery seriously until I resolve the sleeping issues. Now that I’m on the brink of finding out, once and for all, just what the problem is (though it’s pretty much a lock I have sleep apnea), and getting it resolved, I’m hopeful that the change treatment brings will be dramatic enough to really help jumpstart the weight-loss process. It theoretically should. I’ve read a lot of stories of overweight people who’ve been treated for sleep apnea, and the weight really starts to just come off after they begin to feel better. It makes sense. Sleeping and metabolism are closely linked. Sleep badly, get fatter… get fatter, have less energy, sleep worse, get fatter. It’s a vicious cycle. I know it won’t be some miracle cure-all, but I am hoping for a major change in the overall quality of my life.

My biggest fear now isn’t about the process of getting diagnosed (though I’m still creeped out by it)… my greatest fear now is, what if I don’t have sleep apnea? What if I’m just stuck sleeping like shit for the rest of my damn life? I don’t really expect that to happen, since my hub’s actually heard me stop breathing in my sleep… but all the same, I just don’t think I could bear it. It would be the most awful thing to hear, ever.

I don’t doubt that the sleep problems are a major contributor to all of my Major Issues, from being an awful housewife to crying too easily to being depressed. I’m certainly not claiming it’s the sole source of these problems, but I’m positive it is a significant contributing factor. I want to have one less major problem to deal with.

So, if it means sleeping with some sort of mask on my face, I’m going to have to try to learn to deal with that (I have issues with things on my face - can’t get “laughing gas” at the dentist for that reason). Hopefully, the kind that just goes into the nose will work for me, and I won’t need the kind that covers the mouth. I guess I’ll find out. From what I’ve heard/read, that’s the toughest part… finding the right mask.

At any rate, I’m looking forward to getting this all out of the way. I want to get on with my life, I want to feel better. I need to feel better. I’m at the end of my rapidly fraying rope. All the same, I’m hopeful that maybe finally this almost nightmare that began over four years ago may finally be coming to an end.